How to read Bayern history without the myths

Almost every story told about FC Bayern is told twice: once as it happened, and once as it became useful. The club is Germany's most successful and most resented, and both of those positions come with a preferred version of events.

Take the founding. Bayern were not invited into the Bundesliga in 1963 because 1860 München were, at that moment, the better Munich club. In the modern retelling this becomes a scrappy-underdog origin, which sits awkwardly beside the fact that the squad already contained Beckenbauer, Müller and Maier and won promotion within two years. Both things are true. Only one gets repeated.

Take FC Hollywood. The 1990s nickname described genuine dysfunction — public feuds, briefings against coaches, a revolving dressing-room hierarchy. It has since been softened into a charming period of personality. What it actually coincided with was one European trophy in fifteen years.

And take the trebles. 2013 is remembered as the natural product of a great side, but it happened because of 2012, when Bayern lost the league, the cup final and the Champions League final at home on penalties. Dominance in German football looks inevitable in hindsight; it is usually a response to a specific humiliation.

The practical advice for anyone reading about this club in English: check whether a number refers to Bundesliga titles or German championships (33 and 34 respectively, and writers mix them constantly), be suspicious of transfer fees quoted to the decimal — German clubs rarely confirm them — and treat any anecdote that flatters the teller as a claim rather than a fact.